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 A man took his wife to a psychiatrist for an evaluation. After an examination, the doctor took the husband aside and said, 'I have bad news. There is nothing I can do to help. Your wife has lost her mind completely.'

'I guess I shouldn't be surprised,' the man responded calmly. 'After all, she has been giving me a piece of it every day for the last thirty-five years.'

 

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An American and an Indian are in the male restrooms at the urinal. They finish and zip up. The American proceeds to the sink to wash his hands, while the Indian immediately makes for the exit.
The American shouts out to the Indian, `In America they teach us to wash our hands after we urinate.'
The Indian turns around and replies, `In India they teach us not to piss on our hands.'

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